The Star Thursday March 11, 2010
More to benefit from free admission at govt hospitals
PETALING JAYA: Parents of serving civil servants will, for the first time, be entitled to free ward admissions at government hospitals.
Ward charges will also be waived for government retirees, civil servants and qualified immediate family members.
Public Service Department (PSD) director-general Tan Sri Ismail Adam said the directive would take effect from April 1, and that some 450,000 government retirees would benefit from the new perk.
“The Government has decided to abolish ward charges imposed on officers and retirees of the civil service, their family members and parents when seeking treatment at government hospitals,” he said in his latest circular.
However, Ismail said the abolition of ward charges would not affect the current ward qualification, which was based on grade levels or the last grade held.
He said those who wanted to be admitted to a higher-class ward than their entitlement would have to pay the public rate and deposit for that particular ward.
Current rules state that officers and those who had retired from public service, their parents and family members were required to pay ward fees according to the fixed rate.
Cuepacs president Omar Osman thanked the Government for waiving the ward charges.
“It is comforting to those still in service to know that they will be taken care of by the Government after retirement,” he said yesterday.
Omar also welcomed the move to include parents among the free ward beneficiaries, but said it should include parents of retirees as well.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Chinese New Year 2008 With My Dad
Chinese New Year 2008
Well 2 years back we had the Chinese New Year gathering at our home. All my paternal relatives gather around our lovely home for a nice get together. As the eldest son, my father plan a good Chinese New Year reunion for all relatives. Now that my father is gone, I will have to take up the role next year onwards. My dream is to build a bigger house for my mother, then this dream home can also be used to host the Chinese New Year gathering yearly.
My father was very happy and tooked photographs of everyone using a tripod and camera.
Some of the photos are:
Well 2 years back we had the Chinese New Year gathering at our home. All my paternal relatives gather around our lovely home for a nice get together. As the eldest son, my father plan a good Chinese New Year reunion for all relatives. Now that my father is gone, I will have to take up the role next year onwards. My dream is to build a bigger house for my mother, then this dream home can also be used to host the Chinese New Year gathering yearly.
My father was very happy and tooked photographs of everyone using a tripod and camera.
Some of the photos are:
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My parents at My Cousin Sister Wedding
My Cousin Sister Wedding 2008: Jennifer and Tommy on 08 March 2008 at Chuai Heng, KL
Couple Pose with my Sister and Brother In Law
My maternal grandparents posing with my Parents
My Maternal Grandparents possing with my friend, my sister and I
My Lovely and Affectionate Parents
Couple Pose with my Sister and Brother In Law
My maternal grandparents posing with my Parents
My Maternal Grandparents possing with my friend, my sister and I
My Lovely and Affectionate Parents Monday, February 8, 2010
Happy Family Dine out at Jogoya
Thursday 7 January 2010
My dad has mentioned few times to go eat out at Jogoya. Given the right timing, and getting the Jogoya VIP card (borrowed from my Mum's friends), we were able to dine out on Thursday 7 January 2010. This is roughly less than a month before my father's passing.
Dad has taken a lot of delicious seafood, Japanese delicacies. I am pretty sure my dad did not take any raw Japanese food. After the meal, he felt very full. At some point, he mentioned he felt sick because he has overeaten quite a bit.
Overall, we enjoyed the meal very much.
People present: My mum, Myself (Alex), my sister (Angie), my brother (Kechun) and brother in law (Jong Theng).
It was probably my dad best meal he enjoyed very much before leaving this world.
Some photos:
My dad has mentioned few times to go eat out at Jogoya. Given the right timing, and getting the Jogoya VIP card (borrowed from my Mum's friends), we were able to dine out on Thursday 7 January 2010. This is roughly less than a month before my father's passing.
Dad has taken a lot of delicious seafood, Japanese delicacies. I am pretty sure my dad did not take any raw Japanese food. After the meal, he felt very full. At some point, he mentioned he felt sick because he has overeaten quite a bit.
Overall, we enjoyed the meal very much.
People present: My mum, Myself (Alex), my sister (Angie), my brother (Kechun) and brother in law (Jong Theng).
It was probably my dad best meal he enjoyed very much before leaving this world.
Some photos:
Happier moments 7 months before Dad got sick
It was my 28th Birthday in 2009. My dad was very happy. Every year my dad, mum, sister and brother will celebrate my birthday. This one was captured a year before my dad got sick.
This year birthday and Chinese New Year will be totally different without my dad around.
From all of us, Mum, Alex, Angie, Kechun:
We love you, Daddy. We miss you, Daddy.
Some photos from the birthday:
This cake was baked by my sister for my 28th Birthday. Thanks Angie.
This year birthday and Chinese New Year will be totally different without my dad around.
From all of us, Mum, Alex, Angie, Kechun:
We love you, Daddy. We miss you, Daddy.
Some photos from the birthday:
This cake was baked by my sister for my 28th Birthday. Thanks Angie.
My Dad last days at University Hospital, KL, Malaysia
Through the perspective of the eldest son
Photos of my father in hospital:
Photos of my father in hospital:
Patient: My Father
Initial Symptoms : Jaundice (yellow face and body, yellow eye white), No appetite, Sick, Vomit
Hospital: University Hospital(University Malaya research hospital),
23 January, Saturday (Midnight)
I was called about 1215 midnight by my mother who asked me to come back and admit my father to hospital. I reached home around 1230 am and send my parents to the hospital.Upon reaching university hospital, I let my mother guide my father down to the emergency ward where it is just a few steps to the counter. I went ahead to drive and park my car at university hospital. After getting a car park in the hospital, i rushed quickly to the emergency ward reception, i saw my parents still waiting on the emergency lane, keying in the details for emergency ward.
1230 am
After receptions key in work, my parents and I moved to the waiting room for the emergency ward consultation. we waited until almost 1 AM until we can see a doctor to verify that my father can enter the emergency ward. Nurse did some tests like blood pressure test and measure the body temperature. After that we had to wait outside for like another 15minutes before being admitted for the doctor consultation.
130 am
Doctor asked my dad what went wrong. He did some medical examination by pressing which part of the body is painful, stetoscope test. He did some questioning also to verify what went wrong. He took like 30minutes to ask and examine. Then he went away for 15minutes which i think he went to consult another doctor for advice.He came back and did some blood tests. After that we waited around 20minutes for the doctor to come back to us. The doctor mentioned that he has no authority to admit my father into the ward in university hospital (UH) because he is no specialist in the illness my father is having.
230 am
Then we moved our father to the observation ward, with the objective to be admitted into the UH ward. We were told by the nurse that we will have to wait 3 hours for the blood test results. Also the doctor specializing in Gastro will be visiting in the morning. only then can the doctor confirm that my father can be admitted into UH ward. My mother and I plan to go home first and return later at 6 am. My dad was put on intravenous drip. I notice he didnt like the needles poking into his veins.
630 am
we reached the hospital and met up with my father. The Gastro doctor has not arrived yet and we are still waiting for the doctor to confirm my father admission to UH. One time he screemed pain in front of me when the nurse tried to undo the back flow of the intravenous drip. I wonder sometimes why does it hurt so much, i saw the nurse used some force which requires much of her strength.
715 am
the gastro doctor arrived and confirmed my father for hospital admission. She happen to be the daughter of my father ex-colleague in Malaysia Agriculture Department. Somehow i felt the prayer the cellgroup did for my father has some effect.My dad is waiting to be moved to the designated ward.
3pm
My dad is still staying in the observation ward. I was with him till now. I kept asking the nurse from time to time when my dad can be moved to the ward. Earlier A nurse mentioned estimated of 3 hours to clean up and should be ready by 3pm. Rule of the hospital is that no doctors work on weekend, Sat and Sun.
315pm
My mum came over to relieve me. She came and brought dinner for my dad.
6-7pm
Around this time, my mum left my dad in the observation ward. There is no news of when the medical ward will be ready. i was told we will be in 12 th floor Menara Utama soonest.I was taking some rest till around this time, due to lack of sleep yesterday night.
24th January, Sunday 9 am
My dad has been moved to the medical ward. My mum and I went to see my dad at 12 Floor menara utama as told by nurse earlier. Upon reaching there, i was surprised to be directed to a room with 10 patients. The room is actually a temporary room because the cleaning of the floor , and hospital wards on 12 Floor is still ongoing. I am there to see my dad and tend to his needs. I bought him some necessity. He told me he got better at least more energetic than before due to the continous intravenous drip.
1130 am
We left my dad in the medical and told him we will come back later in the afternoon.
4 -5 pm
I reach the medical ward and went to see my dad. He looks ok. There is still no gastro specialized doctor attending to my dad at this point of time. I didnt think this is good. 6 pm my mum came and brought dinner to feed my dad. My mum accompanied my dad until about 9 pm.
Monday 9am
i went to work as usual. I told my Project manager i am going to go off in the afternoon to attend to my father. My father has a scope (medical procedure) arranged for him in the afternoon
230pm
3pm
I reached the hospital and met up with my dad and mum around this time. Yes i was late, the parking in UH was almost full and i had to drive 6 floors up to the roof in order to get a parking.
400pm
A nurse came by to inform us it is time to go do the scope. My mum and myself follow the 2 nurse who are pushing my father to the gastro unit located in menara timur. around 500 metres from menara utama.
415pm
we reached the gastro unit. we also waited there for some time for my dad's turn.
500pm
Doctor informed us he is ready to do the scope. Dr Ben is the doctor in charge of the scope. I can catch a glimpse of the operating theater for the medical procedure. I can hear my dad screaming in pain from outside the operating theater. He is afraid of doing the scope because previously he had done it before at a hospital and it failed to check his stomach for ulcers.
540pm
My dad is pushed out of the scope room. my dad was feeling very bad and kind of in pain. I could see my father's mouth covered with blood. I wiped his mouth clean of blood. I asked the nurse, the nurse asked me to ask the doctors.
550pm
Doctor came out and explained the current situation. Objective was to check if there is any blockage on the bile duct. But he cant find any blockage. He said he saw some gastric ulcers on the duodenum. These can be treated with medication. Then i asked him what could cause it. He said he does not know and needs to do more tests to find out. I forgotten to ask the doctor why is my dad's mouth covered with blood. We moved back to the medical ward in menara utama 12th floor. Nothing significant happen that night, my dad was able to eat and also put on intravenous drip.
Tuesday Events are not recorded at this time. Nothing significant happened.Went to see my dad after work. My mum took off for the whole week to care for my dad.
Wednesday
CT scan results are out and it shows that my dad has a tumor on its liver blocking the bile duct. this is the reason why it is causing the jaundice. I didnt go to see my dad after work since I work late. From the growth and size of the tumor the doctors confirmed it is a liver cancer. My dad was unhappy none of the children went to see him this evening.
Thursday My mum phoned me at 430pm while i was at work and was weeping. From this moment, i know i need to spend my what ever time i have with Dad. I went home to finish my dinner after work.
920 pm
At the bedside of my dad, my sister and brother in law was asked to leave by the guard after visiting hours are over.
930pm
I arrived at the medical ward and met up with my dad. My dad told me what was happening and was very bold and confident he will be ok. I didnt know my dad's condition is getting worse and thought he will be ok.In fact, after my dad's passing, i was told by my aunty Judy, that my dad felt like he is already gone from this world following the medical procedure known as ERCP to put the stent that will unblock the bile ducts. This is so to cure the jaundice that has weaken my dad in preparation for next week's liver surgery. He felt so pain and difficult to breathe during the procedure. The ERCP doctor told my mum not to feed my dad any food. Another doctor said a different diagnosis and said there is nothing wrong eating the food. My dad was able to eat last few days before this after doing earlier ERCP (Scope). In summary, one scope for bile duct blockage (gall bladers) and another for gastric ulcers. The final ERCP is done for putting the stent. My dad wanted to eat that night earlier and eaten some food despite warning from my mum that he should not eat. He had eaten dinner from the hospital, which my dad claimed it is a bad and not fresh fish due to the smell of the dish.
11pm
He had complications this time onwards. Complications includes, vommitting (which also cause severe chest pains, diarhorrea) The area around his stomach was already in pain due to the ERCP and stent insertion.I had to tend to his emergency needs and get the plastic prepared. I told the nurse. One time i had to clean up the bowel contents on the floor due to the severe diahorrea. The nurse saw what happened and help me to get a mop. The complications happen till 2am.My dad had some sleep till 330 am then the complications happen again. There are blood from the vomit i can see clearly.I got some sleep in between the complications and the complications didnot end even though the clock has ticked at 530am. The nurse phoned the doctor to inform him the condition of the patient. My dad asked for assistance from doctor. but there arent any doctors that attend to him.
Friday 830 am
2 Malays doctors came to check on my dad. They gave him jabs to stop the vommitting and diarhorrea. I told the doctors, there arent any clear instructions that he cannot eat. One of the doctors responded that there should not be any problem taking dinner since the ERCP finished for a long time. Before i could continue, one of the doctor asked me to go out since he needs to do more examination. I felt it was quite rude. In the hospital, i feel the conversation / explanation by doctor / nurses are usually short and there is no clear confident diagnosis that comfort families of the patient.
ERCP link:http://www.gastro.org/wmspage.cfm?parm1=860
930 am
My bro came and relieve me so that i can go to work. I told my bro what happened to dad. I feel awful to go to work due to lack of sleep and feel like i should get a day off to care for my dad. I didnt and went straight to work thinking about the deadlines i have tonight.
9 pm
my cellgroup went to see my dad. I am already there to greet them. My dad was not happy and said "Not Now Please" i can understand my dad's feeling. He is in no condition to see anyone. My cellgroup chat for 2 minutes with dad and me. Then they do a prayer for my dad. They left afterwards. I stayed with my dad until 1210 am midnight.I tend to his needs as require since he is bedridden. He also has high fever and a lot of pain on his abdomen area. He was put on painkiller. He is also put on a respitory helper system to help him breathe more easily since he has some difficulty. HIs breath is short. Spiritual side: While asleep during this time, my dad was muttering words in a language I cannot comprehend. His both eyes are half closed and he is asleep.He kept telling me to go home every hour from 930 to 1130.
1210 am
My mum came and relieved me so that i can go home to sleep.
1230 am
I reached home.
Spiritual side: I can smell my father's body odor in my bedroom. I thought i might have been too close to dad and got his smell on me. ( I was later told by my aunt that perhaps the spirit already followed me home that night.
230 am
My maid is spiritually sensitive and can communicate with the deceased in dreams. I believed her because of her previous experience with my late grandmother. There is no need for her to lie because she does not receive anything out of it. She dreamed of my dad. My dad told her to clean up the front yard and living room. He also told him to do so because he said he is coming back home. My maid woke up and was surprised since my dad is still treated in the hospital, how can he be coming back tomorrow. Nevertheless she went to clean up the place as requested.
930 am
my brother went to relieve my mum who spent her night at my dad's bedside during the previous night.
10 am
My mum received a distress call from my bro and said my dad had fainted in the hospital. My mum thinking it is due to no food intake for some time causing the fainting, didnt mention to me it is URGENT. Nevertheless i quickly pump petrol and went straight to the hospital. My mum wanted to go to the market first then only go to see my dad.
1030 am
I met my mum at the lif while going up to see my father. My sister must have phoned her again since she is not around when she arrived at the medical ward.upon reaching my father's room, i saw a group of doctor and nurses in the room. My sister is weeping in tears. Those present are my brother, brother in law, my sister.My sister said the doctor is doing CPR again. The first CPR managed to save my dad for few minutes, then heartbeat went to zero again. The doctor is doing 2nd CPR. One doctor came out and told us that it is already 30minutes past doing the 2nd CPR and no heartbeat. The best record anyone can make it after the 2nd CPR is 20minutes without any heartbeat. He recommended us to give up. He also told us that with High Blood and liver cancer, no surgeon will be confident to take up the challenge of doing the liver surgery. My mum spoke to Uncle Ted, an Anesthesist, her brother to confirm what the doctor says. My uncle also agreed with the doctor to give up. We went to see dad for the last time. My mum told dad everyone is here, Alex, Angie(my younger sister), Kechun (my younger brother)Heavy tears on my eyes as i entered to the room to see my dad. I touch his chest and feel that he is very cold. I tried to put the blanket over him. I tried to hold back the tears and be bold as I am the eldest in the family and need to care for my mum, sister and bro. Nor matter how bold a man is, he has his limits. And this was my limit. I was very close to my dad, i spent my time a lot with him, but neglected him some time when i found myself busy in relationship with a girl. I cried out for my dad to come back. I spoke some encouraging words to dad for him to recover. I also told him dad we love you very much.Angie and Kechun also called out for dad. My mum and sister were weeping. I find it hard to pronounce words as i feel hard to breathe with the holding of my tears. At the end the slight pulse that my dad has is almost gone. The nurse has remove the equipment attaching to my dad due to CPR. Correction: I should have asked him to continue his way to his destiny and do not worry about us on earth. We can take care of ourself. His body was changed to his former clothing. My father was then sent to the mortuary.
1140 am
A funeral parlour manager came to talk to my mum and I. My uncle also arrived with her spouse to see us. My uncle and aunty mentioned about a funeral parlour manager whom they trust since he was managing well for my aunty 's father funeral. Both of the manager i met and the recommended from my aunty is from the same company. We went to see the recommended manager from aunty since he came to the hospital. He told us the price and package available.He arranged for some procedure and told us his plan for the afternoon. I begin to send out sms to friends and relatives of my father's passing. I told my brother and sister to do the same too.
200 pm
I went to mortuary with the funeral parlour manager. The rest went home earlier to prepare for the memorial service.I found myself waiting for the funeral van to arrive with the manager and we share some stories. Upon arrival of the van, i was asked to sign on the form to identify the body of my dad. I went ahead to the mortuary room. it smells a foul in there. I can see my dad lying on the stainless steel bed. I confirmed that this was my dad. I asked why is my dad eyes opened wide. (in chinese spiritual meaning, this is a symptom that the deceased is not ready to leave this world yet) The manager replied the parlour company will close his eyes, dress and makeup my father. I was also told to choose a clothing and blanket for my dad. I choose something simple for clothing (with chinese Sau word) and a nice blanket.Then i drove home to meet up with the rest.I have to stop writting on this topic since we are no longer in the hospital.
Note: Event time is an approximation since i didnt record down the actual time.
Malaysia Life Expectancy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy
Hospital: University Hospital(University Malaya research hospital),
23 January, Saturday (Midnight)
I was called about 1215 midnight by my mother who asked me to come back and admit my father to hospital. I reached home around 1230 am and send my parents to the hospital.Upon reaching university hospital, I let my mother guide my father down to the emergency ward where it is just a few steps to the counter. I went ahead to drive and park my car at university hospital. After getting a car park in the hospital, i rushed quickly to the emergency ward reception, i saw my parents still waiting on the emergency lane, keying in the details for emergency ward.
1230 am
After receptions key in work, my parents and I moved to the waiting room for the emergency ward consultation. we waited until almost 1 AM until we can see a doctor to verify that my father can enter the emergency ward. Nurse did some tests like blood pressure test and measure the body temperature. After that we had to wait outside for like another 15minutes before being admitted for the doctor consultation.
130 am
Doctor asked my dad what went wrong. He did some medical examination by pressing which part of the body is painful, stetoscope test. He did some questioning also to verify what went wrong. He took like 30minutes to ask and examine. Then he went away for 15minutes which i think he went to consult another doctor for advice.He came back and did some blood tests. After that we waited around 20minutes for the doctor to come back to us. The doctor mentioned that he has no authority to admit my father into the ward in university hospital (UH) because he is no specialist in the illness my father is having.
230 am
Then we moved our father to the observation ward, with the objective to be admitted into the UH ward. We were told by the nurse that we will have to wait 3 hours for the blood test results. Also the doctor specializing in Gastro will be visiting in the morning. only then can the doctor confirm that my father can be admitted into UH ward. My mother and I plan to go home first and return later at 6 am. My dad was put on intravenous drip. I notice he didnt like the needles poking into his veins.
630 am
we reached the hospital and met up with my father. The Gastro doctor has not arrived yet and we are still waiting for the doctor to confirm my father admission to UH. One time he screemed pain in front of me when the nurse tried to undo the back flow of the intravenous drip. I wonder sometimes why does it hurt so much, i saw the nurse used some force which requires much of her strength.
715 am
the gastro doctor arrived and confirmed my father for hospital admission. She happen to be the daughter of my father ex-colleague in Malaysia Agriculture Department. Somehow i felt the prayer the cellgroup did for my father has some effect.My dad is waiting to be moved to the designated ward.
3pm
My dad is still staying in the observation ward. I was with him till now. I kept asking the nurse from time to time when my dad can be moved to the ward. Earlier A nurse mentioned estimated of 3 hours to clean up and should be ready by 3pm. Rule of the hospital is that no doctors work on weekend, Sat and Sun.
315pm
My mum came over to relieve me. She came and brought dinner for my dad.
6-7pm
Around this time, my mum left my dad in the observation ward. There is no news of when the medical ward will be ready. i was told we will be in 12 th floor Menara Utama soonest.I was taking some rest till around this time, due to lack of sleep yesterday night.
24th January, Sunday 9 am
My dad has been moved to the medical ward. My mum and I went to see my dad at 12 Floor menara utama as told by nurse earlier. Upon reaching there, i was surprised to be directed to a room with 10 patients. The room is actually a temporary room because the cleaning of the floor , and hospital wards on 12 Floor is still ongoing. I am there to see my dad and tend to his needs. I bought him some necessity. He told me he got better at least more energetic than before due to the continous intravenous drip.
1130 am
We left my dad in the medical and told him we will come back later in the afternoon.
4 -5 pm
I reach the medical ward and went to see my dad. He looks ok. There is still no gastro specialized doctor attending to my dad at this point of time. I didnt think this is good. 6 pm my mum came and brought dinner to feed my dad. My mum accompanied my dad until about 9 pm.
Monday 9am
i went to work as usual. I told my Project manager i am going to go off in the afternoon to attend to my father. My father has a scope (medical procedure) arranged for him in the afternoon
230pm
3pm
I reached the hospital and met up with my dad and mum around this time. Yes i was late, the parking in UH was almost full and i had to drive 6 floors up to the roof in order to get a parking.
400pm
A nurse came by to inform us it is time to go do the scope. My mum and myself follow the 2 nurse who are pushing my father to the gastro unit located in menara timur. around 500 metres from menara utama.
415pm
we reached the gastro unit. we also waited there for some time for my dad's turn.
500pm
Doctor informed us he is ready to do the scope. Dr Ben is the doctor in charge of the scope. I can catch a glimpse of the operating theater for the medical procedure. I can hear my dad screaming in pain from outside the operating theater. He is afraid of doing the scope because previously he had done it before at a hospital and it failed to check his stomach for ulcers.
540pm
My dad is pushed out of the scope room. my dad was feeling very bad and kind of in pain. I could see my father's mouth covered with blood. I wiped his mouth clean of blood. I asked the nurse, the nurse asked me to ask the doctors.
550pm
Doctor came out and explained the current situation. Objective was to check if there is any blockage on the bile duct. But he cant find any blockage. He said he saw some gastric ulcers on the duodenum. These can be treated with medication. Then i asked him what could cause it. He said he does not know and needs to do more tests to find out. I forgotten to ask the doctor why is my dad's mouth covered with blood. We moved back to the medical ward in menara utama 12th floor. Nothing significant happen that night, my dad was able to eat and also put on intravenous drip.
Tuesday Events are not recorded at this time. Nothing significant happened.Went to see my dad after work. My mum took off for the whole week to care for my dad.
Wednesday
CT scan results are out and it shows that my dad has a tumor on its liver blocking the bile duct. this is the reason why it is causing the jaundice. I didnt go to see my dad after work since I work late. From the growth and size of the tumor the doctors confirmed it is a liver cancer. My dad was unhappy none of the children went to see him this evening.
Thursday My mum phoned me at 430pm while i was at work and was weeping. From this moment, i know i need to spend my what ever time i have with Dad. I went home to finish my dinner after work.
920 pm
At the bedside of my dad, my sister and brother in law was asked to leave by the guard after visiting hours are over.
930pm
I arrived at the medical ward and met up with my dad. My dad told me what was happening and was very bold and confident he will be ok. I didnt know my dad's condition is getting worse and thought he will be ok.In fact, after my dad's passing, i was told by my aunty Judy, that my dad felt like he is already gone from this world following the medical procedure known as ERCP to put the stent that will unblock the bile ducts. This is so to cure the jaundice that has weaken my dad in preparation for next week's liver surgery. He felt so pain and difficult to breathe during the procedure. The ERCP doctor told my mum not to feed my dad any food. Another doctor said a different diagnosis and said there is nothing wrong eating the food. My dad was able to eat last few days before this after doing earlier ERCP (Scope). In summary, one scope for bile duct blockage (gall bladers) and another for gastric ulcers. The final ERCP is done for putting the stent. My dad wanted to eat that night earlier and eaten some food despite warning from my mum that he should not eat. He had eaten dinner from the hospital, which my dad claimed it is a bad and not fresh fish due to the smell of the dish.
11pm
He had complications this time onwards. Complications includes, vommitting (which also cause severe chest pains, diarhorrea) The area around his stomach was already in pain due to the ERCP and stent insertion.I had to tend to his emergency needs and get the plastic prepared. I told the nurse. One time i had to clean up the bowel contents on the floor due to the severe diahorrea. The nurse saw what happened and help me to get a mop. The complications happen till 2am.My dad had some sleep till 330 am then the complications happen again. There are blood from the vomit i can see clearly.I got some sleep in between the complications and the complications didnot end even though the clock has ticked at 530am. The nurse phoned the doctor to inform him the condition of the patient. My dad asked for assistance from doctor. but there arent any doctors that attend to him.
Friday 830 am
2 Malays doctors came to check on my dad. They gave him jabs to stop the vommitting and diarhorrea. I told the doctors, there arent any clear instructions that he cannot eat. One of the doctors responded that there should not be any problem taking dinner since the ERCP finished for a long time. Before i could continue, one of the doctor asked me to go out since he needs to do more examination. I felt it was quite rude. In the hospital, i feel the conversation / explanation by doctor / nurses are usually short and there is no clear confident diagnosis that comfort families of the patient.
ERCP link:http://www.gastro.org/wmspage.cfm?parm1=860
930 am
My bro came and relieve me so that i can go to work. I told my bro what happened to dad. I feel awful to go to work due to lack of sleep and feel like i should get a day off to care for my dad. I didnt and went straight to work thinking about the deadlines i have tonight.
9 pm
my cellgroup went to see my dad. I am already there to greet them. My dad was not happy and said "Not Now Please" i can understand my dad's feeling. He is in no condition to see anyone. My cellgroup chat for 2 minutes with dad and me. Then they do a prayer for my dad. They left afterwards. I stayed with my dad until 1210 am midnight.I tend to his needs as require since he is bedridden. He also has high fever and a lot of pain on his abdomen area. He was put on painkiller. He is also put on a respitory helper system to help him breathe more easily since he has some difficulty. HIs breath is short. Spiritual side: While asleep during this time, my dad was muttering words in a language I cannot comprehend. His both eyes are half closed and he is asleep.He kept telling me to go home every hour from 930 to 1130.
1210 am
My mum came and relieved me so that i can go home to sleep.
1230 am
I reached home.
Spiritual side: I can smell my father's body odor in my bedroom. I thought i might have been too close to dad and got his smell on me. ( I was later told by my aunt that perhaps the spirit already followed me home that night.
230 am
My maid is spiritually sensitive and can communicate with the deceased in dreams. I believed her because of her previous experience with my late grandmother. There is no need for her to lie because she does not receive anything out of it. She dreamed of my dad. My dad told her to clean up the front yard and living room. He also told him to do so because he said he is coming back home. My maid woke up and was surprised since my dad is still treated in the hospital, how can he be coming back tomorrow. Nevertheless she went to clean up the place as requested.
930 am
my brother went to relieve my mum who spent her night at my dad's bedside during the previous night.
10 am
My mum received a distress call from my bro and said my dad had fainted in the hospital. My mum thinking it is due to no food intake for some time causing the fainting, didnt mention to me it is URGENT. Nevertheless i quickly pump petrol and went straight to the hospital. My mum wanted to go to the market first then only go to see my dad.
1030 am
I met my mum at the lif while going up to see my father. My sister must have phoned her again since she is not around when she arrived at the medical ward.upon reaching my father's room, i saw a group of doctor and nurses in the room. My sister is weeping in tears. Those present are my brother, brother in law, my sister.My sister said the doctor is doing CPR again. The first CPR managed to save my dad for few minutes, then heartbeat went to zero again. The doctor is doing 2nd CPR. One doctor came out and told us that it is already 30minutes past doing the 2nd CPR and no heartbeat. The best record anyone can make it after the 2nd CPR is 20minutes without any heartbeat. He recommended us to give up. He also told us that with High Blood and liver cancer, no surgeon will be confident to take up the challenge of doing the liver surgery. My mum spoke to Uncle Ted, an Anesthesist, her brother to confirm what the doctor says. My uncle also agreed with the doctor to give up. We went to see dad for the last time. My mum told dad everyone is here, Alex, Angie(my younger sister), Kechun (my younger brother)Heavy tears on my eyes as i entered to the room to see my dad. I touch his chest and feel that he is very cold. I tried to put the blanket over him. I tried to hold back the tears and be bold as I am the eldest in the family and need to care for my mum, sister and bro. Nor matter how bold a man is, he has his limits. And this was my limit. I was very close to my dad, i spent my time a lot with him, but neglected him some time when i found myself busy in relationship with a girl. I cried out for my dad to come back. I spoke some encouraging words to dad for him to recover. I also told him dad we love you very much.Angie and Kechun also called out for dad. My mum and sister were weeping. I find it hard to pronounce words as i feel hard to breathe with the holding of my tears. At the end the slight pulse that my dad has is almost gone. The nurse has remove the equipment attaching to my dad due to CPR. Correction: I should have asked him to continue his way to his destiny and do not worry about us on earth. We can take care of ourself. His body was changed to his former clothing. My father was then sent to the mortuary.
1140 am
A funeral parlour manager came to talk to my mum and I. My uncle also arrived with her spouse to see us. My uncle and aunty mentioned about a funeral parlour manager whom they trust since he was managing well for my aunty 's father funeral. Both of the manager i met and the recommended from my aunty is from the same company. We went to see the recommended manager from aunty since he came to the hospital. He told us the price and package available.He arranged for some procedure and told us his plan for the afternoon. I begin to send out sms to friends and relatives of my father's passing. I told my brother and sister to do the same too.
200 pm
I went to mortuary with the funeral parlour manager. The rest went home earlier to prepare for the memorial service.I found myself waiting for the funeral van to arrive with the manager and we share some stories. Upon arrival of the van, i was asked to sign on the form to identify the body of my dad. I went ahead to the mortuary room. it smells a foul in there. I can see my dad lying on the stainless steel bed. I confirmed that this was my dad. I asked why is my dad eyes opened wide. (in chinese spiritual meaning, this is a symptom that the deceased is not ready to leave this world yet) The manager replied the parlour company will close his eyes, dress and makeup my father. I was also told to choose a clothing and blanket for my dad. I choose something simple for clothing (with chinese Sau word) and a nice blanket.Then i drove home to meet up with the rest.I have to stop writting on this topic since we are no longer in the hospital.
Note: Event time is an approximation since i didnt record down the actual time.
Malaysia Life Expectancy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy
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